Head Trauma
by Insert Badass Name
Summary: Tails Doll realizes that Dr. Robotnik has made very cliché mistakes in his life.


Tails Doll sat on his cot, bored as Hell. He was never called to do anything except for cleaning anymore, leaving him a lot of free time. And by a lot, I mean **a lot**. About 20 hours of the day. That was a lot of time for a little doll/robot to spend.

Soo... TD was bored.

Obviously.

Being a robot/doll-thing is tough work, ya know.

Ha. I bet you thought that I was being hypocritical for a moment.

WRONG.

Hehe...

Anyway, Tails Doll looked across from his cot and saw his friend Metal Sonic on the other side. They weren't friends per-se, but he was the only one who took him seriously. I mean, come **on**! Who would take a** doll** seriously? It's a child play-thing, for God's sake!

So, MS was the only one who took the smaller robot seriously. Knuckles Doll used to, but he was dismantled a week after he was created. Poor him...

Metal Sonic narrowed his eyes when he saw his companion staring at him. Tails Doll lowered his eyes onto the floor and simply stared at the floor for a couple of minutes. Look, I would've loved to say that there was uncomfortable silence and all of that shit, but you don't get that privilege...

Tails Doll kicked his leg and twisted around. He had absolutely no idea what to do... he was a simple robot, after all. All he was meant for was destroying Sonic and racing against him. Nothing more, nothing less (unless Robotnik ordered him to do something more or something less).

Suddenly, he thought of all of the cliché mistakes the engineer made in his lifetime. He thought about how Sonic always wins and how a little rabbit won against him one time. Tails Doll thought about all of their defeats as a whole and saw the main problems. TD floated up into the air and switched on his literature mode while summoning a pen and a piece of paper. Metal Sonic looked at him questioningly before shrugging it off as the usual Tails Doll behavior.

Without a word, he began to write on the paper...

* * *

><p><strong>Thy Rules of Success By Tails Doll<strong>

**1) Thou shan't tell thy enemy thy plan**

_Almost half of your plans end up like this. No respectable villain is seen doing this to his enemy._

**2) Thou shan't run into battle without a back-up plan**

_For a thousand battles, you have not grown any wiser. Instead of fighting that hedgehog until he could not fight anymore, you constantly returned back to base to lick your wounds._

**3) Thou shan't run into battle without comrades**

_You fought alone for a long time. How about you try to actually have a lot of alive comrades instead of building them?_

**4) Thou shall leave the triumphant speech for later**

_This basically goes with the whole "Don't tell your enemy your plan" thing. I have heard that taunting thy enemy releases adrenaline. Don't taunt them and their extra energy comes in late!_

**5) Thou shan't trust the Hedgehog or any of his companions**

_Scratch and Grounder will be used as an example. How many times have they trusted the hedgehog and failed to finish their mission? 99.99% of the time. Never trust a rodent._

**6) Thou shall run when it is necessary**

_There is no shame in running! ... unless you run while you are winning a battle._

**7) Thou shall leave thy comrades behind when the time is right**

_Expect all comrades to be bitches. ALL OF THEM. Leave them while you can..._

**8) Thou shall not trust anyone**

_Even your robots. They can reprogram themselves at any moment..._

**9) Thou shan't use all of his materials on trivial robots**

_*COUGH* Scratch and Grounder *COUGH*_

**10) Thou shall get a unicorn**

_Because every villain needs a pet._

* * *

><p>Tails Doll put the pen down and admired his work. He then teleported to Robotnik's door and knocked on it. A muffled shout told him to come in. With one single push, he slammed the door open and showed Dr. Robotnik his brilliant work. The engineer sat there for a few minutes before mumbling something under his breath. Tails Doll lifted one ear in curiosity.<p>

"Well, I agree with one rule," Robotnik said," I agree with number nine." Tails Doll glanced down at the rule before staring at his creator again.

"In fact, I think I will get rid one useless robot right now..."

Suddenly, a huge spring came out of nowhere and made Tails Doll go through the ceiling. Unfortunately for him, he left his precious paper behind. How sad... :'(

The paper landed in front of Robotnik while the robot landed in front of the Freedom Fighters' hideout.

The rest of the story is really easy to figure out.

Dr. Robotnik used some of Tails Doll's suggestions and actually won a battle against Sonic.

Tails Doll flew into the sunset with a cape flowing majestically behind him.

Metal Sonic finally got what he always wanted; complete silence.

And everyone pooped out rainbows and lived happily ever after.

**The End :)**


End file.
